perfect

"Perfect. Everything still looks perfect! Its exciting because we don't get that all that often"

These are some words one of my midwives spoke at my 34 week appointment on Monday.

As I near the end of my first pregnancy, I can't help but feel like the luckiest, most blessed girl 

in the world. 

My pregnancy, so far & knock on wood, has gone off without a hitch. 

The "ugliest" pregnancy symptom I've had a brush with is heartburn, and to be honest, it hasn't been

all that ugly enough to even complain about. I know that others have it far worse than I so I bite my 

tongue when I think of complaining and think of how blessed I am to only have little old heartburn, and not some of the really uncomfortable symptoms like hemorrhoids or swollen ankles or varicose veins. 

I only have 6 weeks left, give or take a few days depending on when this baby want to make its debut into the world, and like most big events in life there's a bit of a bittersweet feeling that floats around.

I have loved being pregnant. Loved it to the extent that the thought me no longer being pregnant me a bit sad. I've just felt that there's been such a profound purpose to my life over the past 8 months. 

Every time I feel the baby stretch out, hiccup, kick, or curl up I find myself so high with an excitement and happiness that I've found so few times in my life. 

I've felt more beautiful as a pregnant woman that I ever have before at any time in my life.

Its like all of my insecurities were left behind back in July when we first found out we were expecting.

Maybe its the transformation from girl to grown woman, which at 26, I would have thought that would have happened in my mind well before I got pregnant. But I feel it now, and its been a fabulous feeling.

I cannot fully describe the very blessed feeling that I've been given. Not just for this beautiful, healthy, fulfilling pregnancy that has been bestowed upon us, but for this life that I'm living. For my wonderful, supportive, comforting, loving husband. I didn't know it was possible to love him any more that I already did, but its so much more than possible. When we sat in our birth class, surrounded by women from various walks of life, I felt an overwhelming feeling of how lucky I am to have Chris. Many of the women in our class were there alone, without support from a friend or parent or the father of their unborn babies. They sat there unable to do the relaxation exercises without a partner by their side. My heart broke thinking of how hard the process of pregnancy must be for them with no one there to share their joys and fears with. When we got in the car I squeezed Chris's hand and didn't let go. 

I'm so much looking forward to watching him become a father. One thing I've always known from the very beginning is how great a father he would make someday. Its one of the most beautiful things to see in another person. 

Here ends my hormonal, pregnancy ramblings :) They just pour out of me anymore. 

Here's to 6 more weeks of perfect

a nursery board

I purposefully put off thinking about ideas for our nursery during

the first few months of my pregnancy. I knew that a lot of work

stood between us and our finished nursery so I thought, what's

the point of getting things bought up just so they could sit in a pile

collecting dust for a a few months until our upstairs renovation was

complete.

About a month ago, we started brainstorming about "unisex" nurseries.

I googled and Pinterest-searched the heck out of the search terms

"unisex nursery" and "gender neutral nursery". Those searches

yielded a lot of creamy tan and cool gray nurseries that were beautiful,

but all together, I felt they were a little too blah. We wanted something

vibrant. We wanted a nursery filled with pops of color and varying textures

with a bit of an eclectic feel to it. 

So we brainstormed away and came up with buzzwords like "outdoorsy",

"camping",  and "travel". Both of us being the travel-obsessed, outdoorsmen that

we are, we'd always talked about a bucket-list goal of seeing every national park

in the United States by the time we are old and grey. I remembered seeing some

depression-era, W.P.A. commissioned national park travel posters online about a 

year ago that I'd been pining for ever since and a lightbulb clicked. Chris had been

thinking along those same lines so it was easy to agree on a common theme.

Below is the first of probably many nursery inspiration boards I will patch together.

Some of the items below are available for purchase at various online stores, others are

just copied and pasted from google images, and some are antique store/ebay/etsy finds.

1-3. WPA National Parks posters 

4. antique tin forest service sign, antique store find

5. Stella floor lamp

6. Pendleton 5th Avenue Glacier National Park throw

7. Smokey the Bear nature prints, antique store find

8. vintage Yellowstone pennant, eBay

9. mission-style wood rocking chair, we already own one similar to this

the sunday i spent the day in the hospital

First off,

Everything is OK!

So don't go worrying for me, ok? :)

Yesterday morning, I woke up with a bit of pain in the area one gets pain when they have 

a urinary tract infection. I've only had a uti once ever and it wasn't so bad so i was hoping

that was all it was. 

I dropped Chris off with our friends so he could ride along with them down to Louisville, KY

for a national cattle show, the North American International Livestock Exposition (or nail-AY,

as its affectionately called around our house). He's accompanying a bull calf of ours and a heifer

calf that we plan on selling in the national sale. When I dropped him off, the pain was nagging but

I was pretty sure it was nothing serious so I just planned on napping it off on the couch all day.

When I got back home, it was a stronger pain and suddenly my lower back on the right side started 

feeling sore. The slight soreness turned to more of a deep throbbing pain within an hour, which 

prompted me to call the after-hours-line of my OB. They told me they'd like me to come in to be

monitored.  Of course, this wasn't a death sentence or anything, but immediately after I got off the

phone with the doctor's office, I called Chris balling. I just couldn't help it.. I've been a very healthy

individual all of my life and only ever had to make a trip the emergency room once for a fever. So I 

was pretty scared and I didn't have Chris there to hold my hand.  He had his mom drive me down and

she spent the entire day (10am-7pm) there with me.  

Long story short, they think that the baby was putting its weight on my ureters (the tubes that drain your kidneys into your bladder), kinking it on my right side, causing some issues in that kidney and possibly a kidney stone, which has yet to show its ugly face. They monitored the baby and everything was perfecto, as usual, so my worries went out the window.  I did feel pretty bad for Chris, though. He was so worried. He was so far away by the time he knew anything about me making the trip to the hospital that he felt so helpless. I assured him that everything would be OK and it was.

Just a few factoids about my visit:

-I got my first ever IV out of the way :) So that's one less new thing I'll have to deal with when we

 go in to deliver

- I was able to stay in one of the newly renovated, fancy delivery rooms for the day and it was SO

  nice! I just wish Chris could have been there to practice sleeping on the couch ;)

-The nursing staff in OB unit are the absolute BEST.. I didn't even want to leave by the end of

  my stay. They were just so sweet. So there's another thing to look forward to, come March 2013.

-My mother-in-law, Karen is the best M.I.L. I could ever ask for. She kept my mind off of the pain

  and dealt with the long, boring stay, in which I napped a LOT, wonderfully.

lately

Just an update:

Our 20 week ultrasound went great except for the part where the babe decided to

curl up and face the opposite way that we needed it to. So instead of coming home

with a grainy but cute image of the side profile of our baby's face, we came home

with a photo of the bottom of the foot, the spine, and, my favorite, a shot of our baby's

very long, gangly arm from shoulder to fist. We think its taking after me in that respect ;)

So, although I was a little disappointed there wasn't a facial photo, as far as they could tell,

the babester is a healthy little thing. I do have to have another ultrasound on the 20th so they

can try and get a better view of all 4 chambers of the heart and the nose and mouth area, just 

to be sure everything is a-okay. Below is me at 21 weeks wearing just about the only thing

that's comfortable anymore: an Old Navy shirt dress and leggings. A Godsend, I tell ya..

Yesterday,
we decided to start registering for babe stuff. We figured we'd get a jump on it now before
all of the holiday shopping crowds start mucking up traffic and clogging up aisles. Is anybody
else out there as shocked as I am that its already that time of year?
Anyways, we made the trek north to Rockford and settled on Babies-R-Us. We meandered
around trying to figure out car seats and strollers, laughing at ourselves and our awkwardness
all along the way.

Finally we got our registration "checklist" and our handy dandy registry gun
and made our way to the bottle/feeding section. I swear I almost had a nervous breakdown
staring at that wall of bottles and bottle accessories. First of all, registering for gifts is my nightmare.
I had a bit of anxiety about registering for our wedding gifts so I figured that this would happen.
My issue is that, being a first time mom (and for our wedding registry, a first time grown up/wife) I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea if breastfeeding is going to "work" for me and the babe so
should I wait to buy the $300 breast pump until I have an idea or should I just click it and forget it?
Which bottles work for that particular pump? Which awkward breast pad box should I register for? Which car seat is the most gender neutral? Which stroller is going to clean up the easiest/last the longest? And on and on and on...

My biggest problem with registering is the unknown. How much of this stuff is actually going to be useful and how much of it is going to collect dust in its box? And which items will our baby hate/love (bottles with various nipple shapes, etc). I guess time will tell.

So after about an hour and a half of this, with only 43 items registered for we cut out of there and went to Hooter's so Chris could watch the Chicago Bears game he'd been feverishly trying to keep up with via his iPhone the entire time we'd been in the store.

I coped with a plate of loaded tater tots and a steak and cheese quesadilla and decided the rest of my registering would be done online.
And all was well again :)

halfway

Today marks 19 weeks and 6 days of pregnancy for me. 

Tomorrow I will hit the big 2-0 week mark, or halfway.

And, if I'm being completely honest here, it still doesn't quite seem real yet.

At 17 weeks, 

I woke up and discovered the "belly" that I'd been patiently anxiously awaiting. 

Its still not much of one, as far as bellies go, but its definitely there even if its

not yet evident to the passerby in the grocery store aisle (in due time, my fellow shoppers).
And that belly, my friends, is something I'm pretty proud of.

Sometimes I find myself lost in thought, going about my day, 

when suddenly it dawns on me and I remember that, yes, indeed, I am pregnant. 

I know that someday soon my barely there bump will transform into its
fully-grown self and I will no longer be able to have that silly lapse of memory that 

brings about those divine moments of beaming remembrance, and in a very small way, 

I'm a little bit sad about this. 

Those moments, when it dawns on me that I'm not alone, are pure magic.
The pregnancy feels brand new again..

When I get to thinking about the miracle going on inside my body, 

at this point, nearly unbeknownst to me, I can't help but let a little giggle escape.

And that word, giggle, pretty much sums up the mood of the pregnancy thus far.
At our very first appointment when we were able to see the baby up on the ultrasound screen twisting and turning around, I could't stop giggling.
And at every appointment since,
I've giggled my way through hearing the heartbeat, strong as can be.

Each day seems to come and go with more speed and fervor. 

The faint rotating motion that I first felt 3 weeks ago, has turned to little jabs

 that grow noticeably stronger every day.

A few nights ago, I placed Chris's hand on my stomach and he was able to feel the movements for himself for the first time. In true Chris fashion, he looked at me with an uncomfortable glance, 

slowly retracted his hand, and muttered as politely as he could, "Its kind of freaking me out". 

Which is understandable! I've been there, too.

Sometimes when the baby is really active in there, I think the same exact thing.

It seems unfathomable that I'm already halfway through this trip.

When we found out at the beginning of July and I started marking weeks off of the calendar,

20 weeks seemed so far away, let alone 40 weeks. 

Another mind-blower, we have our final ultrasound of the pregnancy on Thursday.. already!

Unless there's something abnormal that needs more monitoring, which is something I've been

worrying and praying about in anticipation of this ultrasound. 

So far everything has been perfect, so I really have no reason to worry. 

But its just something I do.

So here's to 20 more weeks of magic..

The time is gonna fly.