Thursday, April 16, 2015

30 days

A month from today is our due date. 30 days, give or take a few, are all that's left between us and this brand new soul who will change our world in ways we don't even know yet. I find that I'm filled with a jumble of emotions this second time around.

There's a lot of excitement. I'm excited to meet this new love of my life. I'm excited to hold and snuggle someone who fits in those remarkably small-looking size 0-3 onesies. Excitement surrounds the idea that I will have another sweet baby to nurse and share that profound breastfeeding bond with.  There's also the excitement of seeing Henry meet his new brother or sister for the first time.

There's a little anxiety. When I was pregnant with Henry, it was hard for me to not be anxious about birth. It was a big, scary question mark. This time around, I think that the birthing process itself is the one thing I'm least anxious about. Instead, I've found that I'm most anxious about Henry and how the transition of going from "only child" to "big brother" will affect him. This time around, that is the big, scary question mark. 

With only a few weeks left, my nesting instinct has kicked into overdrive. I've noticed it for a couple of weeks now. I think I first realized I was settling into nesting mode when I found myself planted cross-legged in front of my stove cleaning every seam and crevice with toothpicks. The other day I experienced the very strong urge to vigorously scrub my bathroom tile grout with a toothbrush. When I was pregnant with Henry, my urge to nest was suppressed by the fact that our entire upstairs was under construction and us and all our possessions were crammed into our living room.  There was no nursery to decorate until about a week  before I was due. It's a nice change to be able to organize and clean to my hearts content. 

I've also been working on putting away a supply of freezer meals to keep us full and happy during the first couple weeks of being home with the new baby. I waited until the day before I went in to labor to start making freezer meals last time and I'd like to say that I've learned my lesson. Don't procrastinate! So far, I've stock piled 7 meals. My goal is to have at least 2 weeks worth of dinners put away by the time baby arrives. We'll see if this nice burst of energy I've been having lately can hold out until then. 

These final few weeks will be filled with washing and folding little gender neutral onesies, stocking up on diapers , wipes, and baby lotion, and spending as much one-on-one time with Henry as I can. I still cannot believe how fast this pregnancy has sped by for me. I wish I could pause time and fast forward it all at once.

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